so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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