is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
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I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
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note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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