We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Banned from zoo.
Again?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
bring money and cleavage
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
