So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
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You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
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I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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