I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
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