I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Randomize
