wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
