I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize