the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
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