Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize