What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
