VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
