What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
