I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I just want to make out with him forever
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
