so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
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