You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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