what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
well you can't waste a boner
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize
