Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
