No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize