I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
