I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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