3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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