did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Randomize
