You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
Randomize
