Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
