how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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