he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
