if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
the liver wants what the liver wants
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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