lets start a swedish sibling band together
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
