You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
