i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
