she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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