I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
