Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
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