dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
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