No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
