What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
