normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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