You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Randomize
