Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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