I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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