apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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