Ambien. No doubt about it.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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