about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Fuck your 100 proof Hot Damn. Do you know what 100 proof vomit tastes like? Anger.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
how drunk are you?
Several
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
