P.S. I can't hear my feet
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize
