Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
