Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
i already hear my dad disowning me
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
