The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
sex in a hospital.. check
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
