8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
