I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Randomize
