Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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