You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Send help, water and tortillas.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
