If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
