apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
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