I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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