Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
