yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Randomize
