R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Randomize
