best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
