why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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