she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
