he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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