Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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