they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
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