How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
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