Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
