Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize