your parents love me but you hate me
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Quick, to the slutcave!
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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